Wednesday, May 27, 2009
{ 2:34 pm }
i thought i'll be green-eyed when i blog-hopped and read about other people's lov elife. surprisingly, it wasn't like that at all. i was grinning(not smirking, mind you) when i read how much these girls love their significant other. i wanted to read on about how they spent their time together. how they plan their future together. before 11 january, you could have expect a different kind of response from me. i would have been smirking, gagging, rolling my eyes and heaven knows what else. i'm not turning into a hopeless romantic. i'm just a believer now. recently, someone asked me if i believe it exist. despite whatever happened or will happen to me, yeah, i believe that love exists and i don't want to turn into a sceptic because of what one guy did to me. it will not be fair for myself. i don't want to miss out on some of the goodness in life after having a taste of it for a few months. there is no doubt that i still think about norman and how much i will have like to stab a knife at his back but the tears aren't coming down lately which is a good sign. as cliche as it sounds, i believe that time heal all wounds no matter how deep the wound is. for now, i'll just let nature takes it course. and yah, i'm sincerely happy for all those blissfully attached friends out there. :]
screw-ups happen whether i like it or not. for now, i really have to sit down and think. i mean like doing some planning which is kind of hard for me to do as i'm the kind of person who believes in living each day at a time. however, i've been gallavanting long enough already. just tell me, how much more screw-ups i have to face before i can focus and be set on working for a better future for myself?
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
{ 7:10 pm }
i'm totally rooting for KRIS ALLEN! his rendition of ain't no sunshine was superb. I practically cair in front of the tv set. though i must say that his other 2 songs were lacklustre in terms of zest BUT it's soulful. my heart is saying kris but my head has adam's name all over. why can't people from other parts of the world vote online or something. i mean if i vote online for kris, i'll feel useful and that i've done something to contribute to his success. BUT NOOOO..here i am ranting on and on like a big macam faham. haha
i think i should be given credits for being able to transform into an intellectual minah and a minah intellect easily. i'm not saying that i'm intellectual but for a minah i'm positive that i've accomplished a quite high-ranking position as a smarty though i've been kicked out of school twice but that's the sacrifices that i have to make in order to be a minah. i'm telling you i can talk like a bloody minah if i want to and i find that i do that comfortably when i'm losing my cool.
"eh siol ah!perangai mcm puki siak ni pompan. die fikir die banyak besar nak perah2 kat orang. aku pump muke die baru tau. ah kan!perangai aku dah fanatic!babi!macam sial ah!"
see?i'm telling you i have no difficulty in coming up with all that.
so from now onwards i shall embrace my title as a minah with brain. thank you!
Saturday, May 09, 2009
{ 6:43 pm }
i think i've been partying too much lately. my stomach is getting a bit paunchy but i'm sure i can control the drinking. i'm not saying that i'm proud of my actions but this is one way for me to spend my sleepless nights 'fruitfully'. i've been crying during the nights when i just lie down at my bed, wishing that i could turn back time but it's pointless. Even a million shooting stars won't do me the favour of turning the time back a few months ago. i know i have my friends to turn to tell my problems but i don't want to bore them by telling the same story over and over again. That's why i've been updating my blog quite often lately. i have alot of questions to ponder over and i'm even beginning to doubt myself. and you know what, there is nothing more that i will like to do besides hating him but i find that impossible. i still love him even though i don't know why now.
it was a hoot on the wee hours of sunday when pet, hilmi, faiz, ifa and me fetched eddy from his thailand training at changi airport. i was glad i decided to sacrifice those few hours of sleep to join this troop. faiz and hilmi were gesticulating the actions of plane crash and bombing. we know that they were just fooling around but i'm scared that one day their joke will backfire on them instead. when we finally saw eddy through the glass panel at 3:30 am, all of us with the exception of pet were waving our hands wildly hoping to catch eddy's attention and of course we caught his friends attentions too. hahah. we were out there to embarass him and that fellow just looked away from us. when he passed the security check, faiz ran to him,shouting his name and hugged him. the rest of us scrambled to other parts of the airport, laughing our asses off. i was on my knees and holding my stomach already lah. eddy merely kicked faiz and said that he wanted to pee. hahaha...that lucky bustard. to think that he had such a warm welcome home.haha
i realise that aril has been giving my daily dosage of laughter. never have i met a guy who is as selenge and as cute as him.hahah. what i like best about him is that he don't sweet talk or sugar coat words. he tells things as it is. double-o with him last thursday was actually fun though i can't remember all the details. it was pretty amusing i guess. can't wait to meet up with him again since it has been a long time since we meet up. no, double-o isn't counted. well, that's what he said. and no, i'm not crazy about him lah. i honestly enjoy his company that's why i'm always looking forward to meet him. :]
Anyway, here are some pictures taken during clubbing.
Friday, May 01, 2009
{ 5:05 pm }
sometimes, i can't help but to think about it and applaud norman for his brilliant performance. i can't help but to be amazed by his incredible ability of sweet talking. goodness, i got to give it to him for being so smooth in his words and actions. take for example the time when i met hilmi(not ami) without telling him and at the end of the day, he uncovered the truth. he created such a big fuss over the fact that i was trying to cheat on him when what i merely did was to meet this old friend of mine and had a coke and i even proudly told him about me being attached to norman. he didn't manage to see that. to see him the other day with another girl brings about a closure. now, i know he isn't dead or even jailed. he made me worry and i can see that all those worrying were for nothing. i'm not going to wash dirty laundry in the public. in fact, i have to say that norman did teach me a thing a thing or two about being in a relationship and also about guys in general. i'm not going to stereotype all guys because of what norman did to me but it certainly make me going to dispose my attitude of for the benefit of the doubt, i'll believe him. he made me build my wall higher. the realtionship was such a bliss while it lasted. i was treated like a princess. i mostly get what i wanted from him and when he still had his bike, i was ferried here n there. i honestly felt loved and cared for.it was such a pleasant feeling and it was the first time that i committed myself to someone. i still miss him and there's nothing that i can do or want to do about it now
